The world steamrolls ahead to return to “normal” pre-pandemic life, a delusive ideal. I refuse to ignore the lessons of the last two years. As my daughters grow, so do I. We can never get time lost returned to us; all we have is now. Healing must feel something like this.

—Janienne Kondrich, MD, Weill Cornell Medicine, NY

The following excerpt is written by Dr. Nicole Gerber.

“We learned to just sit” 

Dr. Nicole Gerber poses with her daughter Eliana, son Max, husband Jon, and baby Hannah.

I was a busy working mom of two young kids, and I didn’t know how to have unscheduled time. Weekends when I wasn’t working were spent going to museums or parks—going somewhere, never just sitting at home. And then, we couldn’t go anywhere. I felt trapped.

I made schedules and tried to come up with activities, nothing taking as long as I planned. When you are two years old, it only takes two minutes to color a picture, not the 30 minutes I tried to allot to the task. A week went by. Every minute at home felt like an hour; at work, every minute felt like a war zone. The patients just kept coming in—COVID-like illness, cough with hypoxia, fever and cough. When would it be my turn? Would I leave my children motherless? Would I bring it home and sicken my family? I had obsessive personal protective equipment and decontamination rituals before returning home. At home, the drag of time.   

Until one day, time began to move normally again. We settled into a routine. A little fresh air. Reading some books. Play time. Unscheduled play time. (And let’s not lie, lots of TV and iPad time). And we grew comfortable with each other and the lack of plans. I came to relish the opportunity to spend time with my children.

I was so relieved when schools and daycares re-opened. I fervently hope they never close again. But as the world began to re-open, we realized we didn’t have to go somewhere. We learned to just sit with ourselves. For that, I will always be grateful. 

—Nicole Gerber, MD, Weill Cornell Medicine, NY