Maybe there could be a way to decide who needs more intense screening and who does not.

While walking through the Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport, it came to me that we do our own kind of burdensome screening in the emergency department, except we do it after the flight.

Imagine a 25-year-old guy on his way to work in the body shop who has flipped his Ford F150 into a wheat field on a snowy morning. When EMS arrives at the scene, they feel that he should take the fancy air taxi to the trauma center.

Really, guys, I’m fine. Just pry the door open and I’ll walk out of here.

No, I haven’t been drinking. It’s 7 AM and I’m on my way to work.

Really, these straps and the collar and the board are not necessary. I’m fine.

Could you cover my face? The snow is blowing everywhere. Look, I’ll go to the hospital, but I’m fine. I really don’t need to fly. Isn’t the county hospital 2 miles from here?

Life/Med/Rescue/Metroflight arrives and whisks the patient off to the nearest affiliated trauma center, and the patient is met by the obligatory gaggle of gowned gropers.

No, I’m not allergic to anything. I had an English muffin and coffee for breakfast.

No, I stayed awake. … Hey, those are new coveralls you’re cutting. Really, is all this necessary?

Yikes, that’s cold. I’m certain that nothing happened down there during the accident … uuuggghhh.

Whew, I’m glad that’s over.

Hey, who’s got ahold of my thing? Really, I peed before I left this morning. Give me a minute and I’ll just pee for you … ­uuuggghhh.

CT scan, huh? Really, nothing hurts, except maybe my neck from being in this collar. Head to pelvis, huh? Isn’t that a lot of radiation? I think I heard something about that on the John Tesh radio show. OK, if you say so.

Everything is normal? Great. Can you take the catheter out? I need to check on my truck.

Admit? No, thanks. You guys have been very thorough, and I mean VERY. I think I’ll just go now.

Maybe there could be a way to decide who needs more intense screening and who does not.

Dr. Baehren lives in Ottawa Hills, Ohio. He practices emergency medicine and is an assistant professor at the University of Toledo (Ohio) Medical Center. Your feedback is welcome at David.Baehren@utoledo.edu.