We women have enough to deal with. I’m still not sure if we can “have it all.” Something has to give. It does for the men, but there’s not the same stigma. It’s OK if the dad doesn’t stay home with the sick kid, but if the working mom leaves her sick kid, HOLY COW! She is this horrible mother who mustn’t love her child – even though dad is with the child and she is working to pay for the kid’s tuition and doctor bills and put food on the table.

On a personal note, I’m worried about this. My husband and I are about to adopt four beautiful children from Ukraine. I am the working spouse, and my husband will be the stay-at-home dad. I won’t be able to be everywhere at all times. I will miss some things. I’m scared to death of it. I’m scared that they will feel abandoned by me, even though my husband will always be there. Will they understand this sort of new world order we have?

I always thought it was funny when my fellow residents and, now colleagues, would talk about their wives doing this and that for them. “My wife is cooking/washing my clothes/baking cookies for all the nurses personalized with all their names.” At the time, my husband was working. I always thought, “Man, I need a wife.”

Now, I’m very fortunate. My husband was very supportive when I went back to school. “Hey, I think it’s great. I’m looking forward to early retirement.” And that’s exactly what’s happened. He stays home, keeps the house and me straight, and soon will be keeping our four kids on track. I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without him.

So we women emergency physicians aren’t anybody’s sweethearts (except to our real sweethearts). I am certainly not a consultant’s. We wear so many hats, not only in the ED, but at home as well. I think that alone should garner some respect.

That being said, no one should be calling any physicians sweetheart, people. I mean, really. It has no place in the hospital. The only people I expect it from are my husband and the sweet 90-year-old Southern lady I’m treating for CHF. She gets to call me that. That, I don’t mind.

Dr. Bundy is an emergency physician with the Baptist Health System in Montgomery, Ala., and a former photojournalist, who not only sings in the car, but talks to herself, is addicted to diet drinks and shoes, and thinks emergency medicine is the greatest specialty.