On the first day of my eighth season writing for and acting on Untold Stories of the ER, I decided to have a little fun on the set.

The show was always filmed in Vancouver, British Columbia, on a set scavenged from a defunct mental hospital on the outskirts of town. All of the crew were Canadian locals, and the same people were always on the set, except for the director. Every season we had a new, insecure, fledgling, itinerant director—easy prey.

If your idea for an Untold Stories show is accepted, you will be offered the opportunity to tell your story on camera and to reenact it as yourself. Amateur-actor doctors playing themselves—every director’s nightmare. Untold Stories is a scripted, reality-based show, so the doctor-actor must recite dialogue, hit their marks, and perform procedures, all with cameras and lights in their face and 30-odd people (the crew) watching.

The director and crew are wary of new doctor-actors because some have been incredibly bad. A bad doctor-actor means it may take 12 or more agonizing hours to get an acceptable 10-minute reenactment on film.

The crew is glad I am a veteran of multiple previous shows. Now we have a reasonable chance of moving through the production on time. Then I let them in on what is about to happen to our unsuspecting new director, Hugh.

Day one, scene one: After an hour of setting up, we are finally ready to roll cameras. Hugh starts directing.

“OK, Dr. Bob, let’s rehearse this scene,” he says.

“You know, Hugh, I think we should just roll film and do the scene extemporaneously, without a rehearsal,” I say. “I think it would be fresher and more energetic that way.” (All directors love the word energetic.)

“I wrote the script, and I have already run lines with the actors,” I continue. “This Code Blue scene is a resuscitation. I do this all the time. I can do this in my sleep. This is simple. Trust me, Hugh.”

This is a monumental power struggle, but Hugh reluctantly concedes because I am the principal of the production and he can’t really fire or replace me. One way or another, we have to get this done.

With palpable sarcasm, he gives in. “I guess we’re going to do it Dr. Bob’s way.”

The filming begins: “Quiet on the set, places, sound rolling, frame cameras, background, and action.”