I’m not suggesting that once you reach a certain age, you aren’t worth saving. Absolutely not. I’m talking about dying with dignity, or at least living with some.

Several years ago, my grandmother was diagnosed with a crappy aortic valve, and she goes into CHF exacerbation every few weeks. She’s 87, on home oxygen 24/7, and sharp as a tack. When I visit, it always involves a trip to the casino with her walker and oxygen tank in tow. She doesn’t go as often anymore, so now she plays casino games on an iPad my dad bought for her.

Recently, she’s been getting worse. The decision about having her heart valve replaced looms, and she has said adamantly no. She’s not saying no to life or a cure. She’s saying yes to her life as she knows it. She’s saying yes to going to the casino every once in a while, yes to getting around in her walker, yes to hugs from her grandchildren.

She knows that not only may she not survive the surgery, but all the things she loves to do might come to an end, too. So for now, she’s said no surgery. We have to ask ourselves, if I were that age, would I want that for myself? Daily I see families making decisions for their demented, terminally ill family members that they probably wouldn’t want for themselves.

The Fat Man makes sense when he says people get better when you do nothing to them, with to being the operative word. Maybe we should think about doing things for them. Flowers and a smile are always nice.

Dr. Bundy is an attending physician at ERMed, LLC, in Montgomery, Ala.