Reflecting on this experience made me realize that I looked for validation from my superiors and expected to be promoted on the basis of my merits, as opposed to directly expressing my interest. I didn’t have a designated mentor to seek advice from, and had few colleagues whose lives looked like mine.

More recently, I’ve connected with other physician mothers and have learned that many of us suffer from those same negative thoughts that make us feel that our qualifications and interests are ignored. We feel isolated and in competition with other female physicians rather than connecting based on our shared experiences.

In hopes of changing this culture, I started an online support network called Physician Moms Group (PMG), https://mypmg.com/. In less than two years, PMG has grown to 60,000 members! The group has served as a resource of mentorship, professional development, clinical education, and social support. The group celebrates both similarities and differences, applauds each other’s successes, and shares solutions for problems that are commonly faced at some point in the personal lives and careers of female physicians. It also serves as a forum for female physicians to advocate for themselves as a whole. PMG has made me a better physician, mother, and leader.

I now know that I was overlooked because of faulty communication. It has been three years since that conversation with my director, and I have since expanded my leadership role as well as my family (with twins). Although I’m extremely happy, I still struggle with being the best mom, wife, physician, and coworker that I can be—which I now realize is the norm of a working parent. Having PMG as an outlet has made me feel like I do have it all (although maybe not all at once). I know I have support every step of the way.

Dr. Sabry is the founder of Physician Moms Group, a professional and social network for physicians who are mothers, and is a practicing emergency medicine physician at St. Joseph Health—St. Mary’s Medical Center in Apple Valley, California.