So as another year bites the dust and life as an intern comes to an end, my fellow Receiving interns and I created a list to remind us that no matter how overwhelming next year may seem, there are some things we are glad we will never again hear as emergency medicine interns, and some things that we did wrong that in the future we will get right. And some things that are just so ridiculous, they just had to be written on paper.

Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear as an Emergency Medicine Intern

10. Oh, good. The intern is here. Can you suture all the lacerations in the emergency department?

9. Your patient’s subclavian central line is in good place on x-ray, but now he needs a chest tube.

8. Welcome to your OB rotation.

7. Oh, you’re an intern. So you’re a student doctor?

6. Patient’s family: “Can we talk to our dad’s doctor, please?” Intern: “I am his doctor.” Family: “Really?”

5. “ER bashing”– because it never gets old being an ED intern on an off-service rotation being told how incompetent you are by the superior, overworked, and underappreciated consult services.

4. Blood from the internal jugular vein isn’t usually pulsating and bright red. Try again.

3. Despite its frequent placement in the esophagus, the endotracheal tube doesn’t actually belong there.

2. You are still holding the wire from the central line, right?

And the No. 1 thing you never want to hear as an emergency medicine intern is “Attention, ladies and gentlemen. This is your flight attendant speaking. If there is a doctor on board, please ring your call button.”

Dr. Maso is an intern at Detroit Receiving Hospital. She also holds a master’s degree in public health with an emphasis in community health.